God doesn't bring you to it unless He's gonna bring you through it....

24 months ago, May/June 2008, we were cruising along life's highway, oblivious to the road in front of us. Watching the scenery, loving life and chillin'. We had our struggles, but otherwise everything was great. What could go wrong?



Exit May 2008: Nicholas slips into his first sickle cell crisis of his life, is hospitalized and, less than 12 hours later, is undergoing a blood transfusion. Three days in the hospital, he comes home with no side effects, happy as a clam, and we begin to ease into our summer.



"We survived that, Lord! And that was major." Cruisin' again.....



Exit June 2008: I start graduate school - online courses to earn my masters in teaching. What I'm going to do with that....I don't know, but I'll get some extra $$ in the end. So let's roll with it.



"A lot has changed in the 20+ years that I have been out of school, Lord, but I'll be okay." Lower the speed on the cruise control, but still cruising....



Exit March 2009 - 911: My sister's husband passes away suddenly....something I couldn't fathom happening at such a young age (for any of us). We slow to '35 miles an hour'; she and the 6-year old she is guardian for move to live with us. My family and I help with their healing process, provide stability, guidance, love and support.




"Lord, not why....but HOW am I going to do this???" .... "You'll be fine. Have faith. You've got her; I've got you." .... "Yes, Sir." Pull back onto the highway, and merge into traffic.....grad school, teaching, wife, mother, "foster mother", counselor, friend, sister..........."I can do this! I'm just a little crazier and more hyper than I already was, but Hey! It's okay!" Pick up speed and cruisin' again.



Exit June 2010: We are a house of 5 again...Katrina's on the road back to Maryland and Christopher on his way to Blacksburg. If a heart can be tight and heavy at the same time, then that's mine right now. She received a 'promotion' that will put her on the path that she wanted for her life and in an area that she loves and thrives in. Chris - although he loved here, my children and family, his new school and friends - longed for the people he loved most.




"I knew this day would come, Lord. I wish it didn't have to end because I was comfortable again. I knew what I had in front of me and around me....and it was good. Now.......it unknown again. I don't like the unknown." ..... "You'll be fine. Have faith. You've got THIS; I've got you.....always." "Yes, Sir. But can we talk about this one day.....REALLY talk about this....so you can tell me me WHY all of this had to happen? And why you picked me???" "I wouldn't have brought to it if I hadn't known you'd get through it, Kathy. But we'll talk, I promise."



The house is eerily quiet and empty feeling.... I guess we'll hit the highway in a few days, set the cruise control....and start watching for the next exit............

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I will learn, one day, NOT to wonder what next. What you ask for, you will surely get....one way or another!



Exit July 2010.....WE ARE GOING TO DISNEY WORLD........well, with one speed bump in the road. What?! A speed bump in the highway?? Hubby goes to doctor to have a pH monitor implanted to see what is causing his major reflux. Pulse/O2 stats drop so drastically that the doctor ends the procedure and sends us to the cardiologist. The cardiologist, since he has done everything else to my baby, schedules a catherization. We can't....go...on vacation.....? Doc says, "Sure! Go ahead. Take it easy. Drink plenty of water. See you when you get back." We vacay, have a blast, and return home all the while eerily cautious, but positive that it, like all other tests, would show nothing.




The speed limit has decreased to 30 mph.........radar has gone off....there are cops nearby. So we are just going to creep on up the road. "G.....you still there, right???" "Now why would I leave you, silly girl???" "I don't know....just won'ering"




Exit August 3, 2010......Cath Day........the hospital is such a busy place!!!! But other wives are there for their husbands' caths. They go into the Consult Room and come back soon after all smiles. My turn will come soon; I can do this. Piece of cake. The volunteer escorts me back to the consult room; the doctor comes into the room and all the air leaves. Four arterial blockages - 100, 90 and two 80%. Calling a surgeon for a quadruple bypass. No time for opinions or thinking about a highway change. Slap on brakes and pull OFF THE ROAD! My honey, my heart, my life and love partner has to have his heart fixed so he can stay here with me.




"Ummm.....G? You got this AND me .....and US, RIGHT???????" "Yes, darling. This is out of your control. You can't fix it. This is all me. Sit back, breathe, and watch me work......." I park the car, turn off the engine and watch with my mouth hanging wide open! We get a second chance at life, love and being a family. "Child, stop driving so much and enjoy what's right here in front of you, okay????" "Yes, sir.....I promise. You still got this.....and us?" "Yes, baby. I got all this. It's my job and pleasure to take care of my children. Remember I'm not going to bring you to it, if I don't plan on bringing you through it."



So the rushing about is over, the rat race has ended, the speeding from place to place has stopped. The van has been parked. We will take it out every now and then to go on a road trip.....watch statuses for updates....