... that no matter how good you try to be to others, you will occasionally hurt them. Forgive yourself for it. The same will happen with them. Forgive them for it.
Okay, so I know you're not supposed to dispute God. But He and I have battled over this for over 25 years.... I hurt a good friend, my best friend, many years ago....destroyed her confidence and trust in me...obliterated a seemingly beautiful relationship....because of one stupid event. I remember it as if it were yesterday; we didn't talk for a month. No phone calls, late night gab sessions, no meeting at the dining hall for dinner or hanging out in the game room playing Pac-Man or Millipede. It was just me and my boyfriend....
Then it happened...
...she wrote me during that spring break (I still have the letter); she wanted to meet, to talk and work things out. Everything that I wanted! I was elated! She had forgiven me! I could breathe again.....until I heard... Now....
Forgive yourself for it.
No, I can't do that.....
Why not? You have to let it go....
I have been told that more than once....by other people, by my husband, by HER even. But I can't....what if I do it again? What if I hurt her again, and I don't get a second chance at forgiveness this time? I couldn't bear that. Holding on the memory, the pain, the guilt keeps me on my "p's and q's". I tread lightly, watching what I say and do.
Forgive yourself for it.
But I can't.
The nightmares have stopped (again); the nervousness and anxiety takes a backseat to the excitement, joy and love that I feel when we are together. Even though our lives took very different paths, our bond continues to strengthen after 25 years. I am so thankful that she forgave me all those years ago.
Forgive yourself for it.
I.....I'm trying.....
Then it happened...
...she wrote me during that spring break (I still have the letter); she wanted to meet, to talk and work things out. Everything that I wanted! I was elated! She had forgiven me! I could breathe again.....until I heard... Now....
Forgive yourself for it.
No, I can't do that.....
Why not? You have to let it go....
I have been told that more than once....by other people, by my husband, by HER even. But I can't....what if I do it again? What if I hurt her again, and I don't get a second chance at forgiveness this time? I couldn't bear that. Holding on the memory, the pain, the guilt keeps me on my "p's and q's". I tread lightly, watching what I say and do.
Forgive yourself for it.
But I can't.
The nightmares have stopped (again); the nervousness and anxiety takes a backseat to the excitement, joy and love that I feel when we are together. Even though our lives took very different paths, our bond continues to strengthen after 25 years. I am so thankful that she forgave me all those years ago.
Forgive yourself for it.
I.....I'm trying.....
