So like most newlyweds, all we could think about, talk about, wish about was starting a family. Because I had not used birth control in YEARS, we assumed it would be an easy task to get pregnant; we even practiced how we would tell our families. We suspect that I miscarried a few weeks after our wedding because I fainted while preparing breakfast. But after a year of trying to conceive and talking with my gynecologist, we started fertility testing; I remember my doctor's words as clear a day...."We'll start with Turk. Men are harder to fix. If it's him, then we can stop, and we start talking about alternatives." Alternatives??? What alternatives??? And what alternatives could we afford??? We might have had twelve cents to our names; we couldn't afford anything outside the natural way of having a baby! And even that was suspect some days....
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We were matched with a urologist in Winston-Salem who specialized in infertility treatments; Dr. Cee scheduled a testicular biopsy to determine the quantity and viability of our 'little swimmers'. He told us that after the results came back, and based on motility, we could discuss harvesting sperm..."Every man has viable sperm; we just sometimes have to go in and find them". Find them????!!!! It was quite obvious that Dr. Cee was used to working with infertile couples who had the monetary means to search for sperm and, once found, continue on with invitro fertilization. Once we got home and talked, we decided to wait on the results and then go one from there.
A few days later, as I was talking with a friend, the phone beeped with another call coming in. I switched over and heard my gynecologist's voice on the other end. He had received Turk's test results from the biopsy, and they weren't what we had hoped. There was zero sperm motility. The urologist deduced that when Turk was a child and one testicle did not descend, the heat of the human body destroyed all sperm cells. He was 99.9% sterile. My husband and I would never have children, together, biologically.
My gynecologist extended his condolences and told us to take some time to mourn; he would be more than willing to talk with us, when we were ready, about what we could do next. Not truly understanding how we could mourn something that we didn't - and wouldn't - ever have, we did begin to talk about how we could create our dream home and family...what to do next.
A few days later, as I was talking with a friend, the phone beeped with another call coming in. I switched over and heard my gynecologist's voice on the other end. He had received Turk's test results from the biopsy, and they weren't what we had hoped. There was zero sperm motility. The urologist deduced that when Turk was a child and one testicle did not descend, the heat of the human body destroyed all sperm cells. He was 99.9% sterile. My husband and I would never have children, together, biologically.
My gynecologist extended his condolences and told us to take some time to mourn; he would be more than willing to talk with us, when we were ready, about what we could do next. Not truly understanding how we could mourn something that we didn't - and wouldn't - ever have, we did begin to talk about how we could create our dream home and family...what to do next.
